I'd watch it

Wish I knew how to help.
Obviously, we would all like to spend some more time wandering the halls of Dr. S's imagination, but we understand why you can't post it.

Does he have any talented students you could ask for content?

Nice short.
Seems like more could be done with it than just two parts, though.
The potential is there right now for a novelette

Exciting!

Didn't notice any mistakes this time.

Moving along well. Couple of typos I noticed: If and when I meet your parents, I'll deliver these two them right away." They hoped out, dug in the sandy soil, and… well, did what cats do in the sand. the swarm reached their goal quickly. mixed cases - swarm is a singular noun That's all I found

Well, it just drops the reader into what seems to be an ongoing war, and no indication that the war is drawing to a close. It's a good piece by itself, and everything necessary to understand the story is present, but it is obvious that it is part of a larger story. Sort of reminds me of "The Re...

Time for bed, but I can spare enough time to point out the typos I found: Heth noticed he lack of snow and ice on the ground he = the As they approached, Heth pretended not to notice as strode past a line of corpses as they strode? Heth was just beginning to wonder how the Brothers had wrecked so mu...

Was this one a chapter from a larger story?
Sounds like an interesting read.

Back, finally. Had a bit of an incedent the other day... The power supply that was providing sustinence to both of my Windiws laptops surged and took out the motherboards. So, I'm on a Linux box, and trying to rebuild my bookmarks, password database, and all that other stuff that's so easy when your...

Great short story.
It would make an interesting prelude to a novel...