Starship Troupers

The Starship Troupers, St. Vidicon, and G.R.I.P.E.
MattT
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Re: Starship Troupers

Postby MattT » Tue Nov 06, 2012 5:45 pm

Okay, and now I'm really confused and someone else can maybe help me. I just realized that in Chapters 6 and 7 Giles St. John is named as the murdered man, but starting in chapter 8 and to the end the name Harrison is used for the murdered man. Are these the same person or two different people, and I completely lost track of who the ghosts were/are?
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Ortho the Frank
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Re: Starship Troupers

Postby Ortho the Frank » Tue Nov 06, 2012 6:04 pm

MattT, thank you so much, this is EXACTLY the kind of feedback Chris needs - not just typos, but structural issues as well. Thankfully, he's aware of the Giles/Harrison name swap, and that the mystery element needs to be played out more. My little sister also caught a plot hole I missed - that Harrison starts haunting the coffee machine before he's even died yet!

And yes, the switches in perspective are an issue. I tried to catch them when I proofread the chapters prior to posting them, but some still slipped by me. The word processor age of cut and paste is a blessing to writers, but in this case it's a double-edged sword - moving chunks of text around results in the perspective getting mixed up sometimes.

Thanks once again!
MattT
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Re: Starship Troupers

Postby MattT » Tue Nov 06, 2012 6:49 pm

Thanks, Ortho. I didn't notice the Harrison/coffee machine issue. Now that I'm thinking about it more, two different ghosts might be better than just Harrison's ghost - maybe Harrison plus a different ghost of an actor. Harrison doesn't appear to be a nice person. He's planning on assassinating people to gain power for goodness sake, but we're supposed to believe that Marnie and Larry become nice people as a result of his possession? And why would Ramou, who is so concerned with honor and justice, want to help an aspiring assassin and someone who at least threatened to murder De Licieux? So maybe if the mystery is going to be fleshed out, a second and nicer ghost could be fleshed out as well. Maybe Harrison has killed his first before the troupe makes planetfall, so the company arrives in the midst of the planet's first murder which then seems to become the planet's first serial killer when Harrison is also killed.

Actually, maybe they could meet good-theater-techie-guy in chapter one when they land and take a look at the Sandrockers' theater. In his day job, he's someone more important who Harrison would want to take out. Because the coffee in the beverage dispensers on the Cotton Blossom is so bad, he helps Ramou and Merlo make some improvements, and adding an improved Mocha with extra special chocolate or something like that. Then he turns up dead. Then later Harrison turns up dead. This might also be an opportunity to impugn the company or seem like a grey man frame up job to discredit them as the planetsiders become suspicious of the company as there have been no murders before they landed. Okay, that's maybe adding a lot of writing, but I think something of that nature might work better. But then I'm just a random internet guy.

As yet another thought, since there had been no murders on the planet previously, perhaps the psychic/ghost effect would be greater or manifest more strongly in the case of violent death which might startle even the people of Gemma who are used to ghosts already? Just a thought.
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cstasheff
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Re: Starship Troupers

Postby cstasheff » Mon Nov 12, 2012 5:01 pm

And a very good idea it is, MattT -- in fact, all of them are. I'll think it over for a bit while I work through the rewrites for THE UNKNOWN GUEST, then rough out the action incorporating new material, then add it in. Thanks for your suggestions.
By the way, this ranks with Wizard in Bedlam as my most thoroughly rewritten book. The more new material, the better! By the way, for yourself and others following this forum -- which name do you like better, Giles St. John or Harrison? Or, if I go with the two-ghost solution, which is better for the good guy?
SingingSkies
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Re: Starship Troupers

Postby SingingSkies » Tue Nov 13, 2012 7:38 pm

Why St. John for the good ghost, of course, Chris!
MattT
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Re: Starship Troupers

Postby MattT » Wed Nov 14, 2012 3:02 am

Harrison brings to mind the Stainless Steel Rat, which is weird because I never even read those books. Harrison sounds more gritty, and Giles St. John sounds more upper crust or effete. So I guess I'd go for Giles for the good guy and Harrison for the murderer if you did two ghosts. Maybe Giles St. John for just one ghost since he wouldn't have been very good at assassinating people in that case.
David Wilkin
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Re: Starship Troupers

Postby David Wilkin » Tue Oct 29, 2013 9:24 pm

Has this then been published. I corresponded before about my admiration for the series in a previous website for Stasheff books. I would love to get a copy of the conclusion of the series.
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Ortho the Frank
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Re: Starship Troupers

Postby Ortho the Frank » Wed Oct 30, 2013 2:15 pm

It hasn't been published yet - Chris is still in the process of the revising the final draft. Unfortunately, over the next 2-3 months, he'll be traveling all over the country trying to keep in touch with his four geographically disbursed children and five grandchildren. So expect a release in early-to mid-2014 at best.

Thanks for the interest and encouragement, though!

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