Wizard Required

Review and discuss fan fiction short stories.
Falchion Wielder
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Re: Wizard Required

Postby Falchion Wielder » Tue Nov 09, 2010 3:46 am

I've gone missing in work these past several months and haven't taken the time to comment as I simply haven't had the time to spare. Perhaps I should join up with Gripe. It does take time to look at and evaluate work on other then a visceral level. At that level... I like it! It is not more of the same Matt taking on the world. More of a mystery with a few twists. I noticed the last entry was about a week from the previous one. I am hoping the next is due out any day now!

FW
kf6eml
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Re: Wizard Required

Postby kf6eml » Tue Nov 09, 2010 6:00 am

Right - As the author said, this is only intended to be a short story, and has threatened to become a novella (although I have read "short stories" that were much longer than this one.) We can't expect on of Dr. S's sagas with a cast of thousands on a 20,000 word budget :D

Dr. S:
In a sense, if the environment did not become part of the story in science fiction, what would be the point in reading it? Isaac Asimov may have been able to pull it off once in a while, but really, all science is is understanding and adapting your environment to your needs. Modern America would be science fiction to a Victorian woman, and I'm sure she would enjoy reading about it - but in the character of Ada, you have been presenting exactly the discomfiture that any sci-fi reader would have in adjusting to the environment that is so much of any good futuristic story. Some would find it frightening, and that makes for a good suspense thriller, where some would find it fascinating, which makes for a good escapist fantasy (No bad thing!) The only consistent thing is that if we found it too familiar, the story would depend entirely on its characters to keep our interest.

That last point was why I had so much praise (gushing) for the Merovence series; The first book kept a nice balance between the environment and the characters, in terms of interest and prominence, and later books let the environment fade into familiarity and depended a lot more on interesting characters. Too many authors (especially in their first works) hit the reader all at once with environment and that "cast-of-thousands" and it is overwhelming. (I noticed some muted tendency toward that in the first Warlock book. Just say'n.) Lord of the Rings, Eragon, Robert Jordan, Brooks's Shannara series... Good books, sure, but a bit overwhelming at first. (At least Lord of the Rings eases into the story and expands the scope gradually. The others pretty much drop you into the soup and let you flounder along until it starts making sense. That's my impression, anyway.)
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cstasheff
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Re: Wizard Required

Postby cstasheff » Tue Nov 30, 2010 10:29 pm

I think that's part of the appeal of urban fantasy -- that we are already familiar with the externals of the environment. The fun comes when we find out what's under those externals. Ortho is using another approach -- using an environment that we're already familiar with and probing a bit deeper into the loose ends. I'm finding the story easy to join, even though it's a part of the universe I hadn't explored. Of course any good mystery story has to find out the hidden facts -- but these were even hidden from me while I was writing about a different part of Merovence! Thanks for taking the time.
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Ortho the Frank
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Re: Wizard Required

Postby Ortho the Frank » Wed Dec 01, 2010 3:10 pm

Sorry for the long delay since the last installment of the story. My laptop died due to a toddler/hard drive interface conflict, and I've been struggling just to make the weekly updates to the site.

The Thanksgiving holidays (combined with the timely arrival of a new hard drive) gave me a chance to reinstall Windows and get everything back up and running, so now I'm back in business. My goal is to finish this story before Christmas.

By the way, we've got some fun holiday stuff planned for the month of December, so stay tuned!
dsyoji
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Re: Wizard Required

Postby dsyoji » Mon Feb 14, 2011 2:13 am

Excellent story. Hope to read more installments. I love the Wizard in Rhyme series and Christopher's use of Shakespeare in the magical verses. I thoroughly enjoyed your addition to the story. Well done to both of you.
flathaed
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Re: Wizard Required

Postby flathaed » Sun Mar 13, 2011 9:31 pm

I just finished reading it and I must say, well done. Now I just want more.
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Ortho the Frank
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Re: Wizard Required

Postby Ortho the Frank » Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:50 pm

Well, you're in luck: the next chapter is FINALLY coming out tomorrow.

... and thank you for the kind words!
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Ortho the Frank
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Re: Wizard Required

Postby Ortho the Frank » Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:39 pm

... or not. (sigh) Didn't quite get it done in time. Maybe next week, then.

For now, I've thrown out a small placeholder - the beginning of the trial. The rest is giving me trouble. I did mention this was my first attempt at a mystery, right? You know that part at the end of a mystery where all the stuff comes together at once? Yeah? Well, it's a bitch to write.

When this is finally done, I think a big rewrite is in order. Any feedback is appreciated, especially plot holes, unanswered questions, and other nonsensical things I might have missed.
kf6eml
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Re: Wizard Required

Postby kf6eml » Thu Mar 17, 2011 12:51 am

Have to re-read all of it one more time in short order before I can offer any critique.
It has been a very good short story. Even the masters, like Doyle and Christie laid out all of the facts early on, and in the end sometimes had the race against time to get the story to the authorities before a terrible miscarriage of justice could be done. You've made a good story, used plausible characters, and the action at the end seems to be shaping up nicely. Just the right balance of tension and advancement - not dragging it out, as many do (even some otherwise very good authors) and not jumping the gun getting the good guy in to save the day.

In short: I like it.
flathaed
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Re: Wizard Required

Postby flathaed » Thu Mar 17, 2011 5:33 am

Just read your "placeholder" and am very glad I did. Two thumbs way up. I am sitting on the edge of my seat, well not literally, that would be uncomfortable.

Looking forward to the next chapter, and I do mean chapter, you may call this one a placeholder, and it may be shorter then the others, but how it ends seems like a perfect place to start the next section. Not all chapters are made even.

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